Managing Your Move to or in Tulsa: Expectations vs. Reality--Part 102/18/2018Moving is the mature equal of middle school—everyone is really gungho about the prospect, but it is only the ones with sensible expectations who end up having a smooth move. Sure, it is a new abode, a new start, and the opportunity of a wonderful new life--but once that last empty moving truck heads down the road and you're standing there in the middle of your boxes, you've still got to do the actual work. Managing your move with realistic expectations is the key to beginning that new life on the right foot--and that means not only acknowledging the fact that a new abode won't wondrously suck up the thirty pounds you keep meaning to lose, but that moving is emotionally draining even in ideal circumstances and you and your family should allocate the time and space to accept that. One of the crazy things about a local move--new home, neighborhoods, schools--is that can be more difficult on the kids than a long-distance relocation. A new house across the country takes away the never-ending requests to go see their friends in the old neighborhood, and it is easier to adopt a new life and new friends when your old ones are in a different time zone. But back to the main point. There are three Ps involved with managing your move to or in Tulsa--Purge, Pack, and Pay. What you do not purge must be packed, and the more you pack, the more you'll pay. Expectation—I will sort through old stuff and only hang on to what I love. Reality--you love lots more than you realize you do. Whether you do your own packing or hire professionals, you've got to determine what is worth the time and money to move with you. Purge Purging is one of those weird expressions you don't hear very often, at least in a good connotation. But really, getting rid of the old baggage is one of the wisest ways so that you can let your new abode to meet your expectations of wonderful. There are all kinds of guidelines and pointers to assist you in figuring out the best approaches to sort through your old things, from down-to-earth--"if you haven't used/worn it in a year get rid of it"; to a bit less traditional--"toss all your negative energy out with the old towels". At its basic level, purging is basically going through all the cupboards, closets and drawers and constructing three piles: keep, get rid of, donate. Or you may have four piles if you've got some nice items that you do not use anymore, and consign those things. The hardest thing about purging is keeping up the neutrality in order to be merciless about getting rid of things. If you stored all those pre-school art projects, how can you get rid of them and be a good parent? Here's one suggestion—appoint a friend to help you go through things and talk you through why you're saving items that are really best thrown away. Having someone else ask you out loud why you want to keep the 1980s cassette tapes does put things in relative importance and you will have an easier time growing the throw away pile if you have got someone to reinforce your decisions. If your partner is the one with the pack rat inclinations, here is a suggestion for helping an unenthusiastic participant part with their treasures. Think small, and start with the kitchen junk drawers, try to limit handling of old matchbooks and broken screwdrivers to one time only and gradually make your way to more important possessions, like collections (for instance, choose two or three porcelain bunnies and donate or consign the rest). Catch us next time as we go over managing your move topics: Pack and Pay, in Part 2 of this blog series.